Bar Update

So I recently took a fake version of the MBE (Multistate Bar Exam). I just got my results back today. I scored in the top 7%! A passing score is a passing score, but I am in one of those states that allows you to apply extra points from your MBE to your essay portion of the exam. It's just nice to get some good news like that when studying for the bar.

Potentially Controversial Statement: In my bar class there are at least 50 other future attorneys. There are a few girls in this class that have taken to wearing very short shorts and tight/revealing shirts. I can't help but wonder if these girls care at all about professionalism. You could be thinking, "aLs, this is a bar class. Lighten up. They can dress however they want." You're right, they can dress however they want. But I don't think it's realistic to say that people aren't going to judge them adversely for it.

I would like to emphasize that aside from those few girls, the rest of the female law students know how to dress appropriately. I am not generalizing or putting down women, just making an observation about a few women in my bar class. Ahem. Back to work.

aLs

Videos

My brother has a date in the other room. I would hang out and watch a movie with them....but....I get the awkward feeling that I should let the man spend some time with his date. So to entertain myself, I am digging up videos online. Here's my favorites:

















I loves the internets.

Catrobics!

People are always asking me, "aLs, when are you going to make a rock music video that consists entirely of you playing with your cats?" Well let me tell you, that day has come. I hope you're ready for the premiere of "Catrobatics."

Note: If you can't see the video, it might take a few hours for youtube to make it available. Just check back.



aLs

Don't Be Like That

Controversial Statement of the Month:

If you're a Republican you can either sit back and smile or quit reading right here. This message is meant as a rant to the Hilary Clinton supporters out there that keep threatening to vote for McCain (MC). I'd like to be clear, this is not a rant directed towards Hilary Clinton supporters that wishes she would have won the primary, but are still willing to act like they care about the democratic party.

BEGIN MESSAGE
If you vote for McCain because Clinton lost you are not only a sore loser, but you're an idiot. Do you even know what policies Clinton supports? Do you realize that as far as policy goes, Obama is pretty much in total unity with Clinton? If you vote for McCain you will essentially be voting for the exact opposite of what Clinton stands for. How does that make any sense at all? I can only assume you were either voting for her because you're one of those people that votes personality or you are one of those people that said "hey, I'm female, she's female, I'm going to vote for her on pretty much that basis alone." You certainly can't be a person that has an educated or even partial understanding of politics in the United States.

The next part of this message is meant for those women that keep calling Claire McCaskill and all the other women that supported Obama "traitors." It may come as a surprise to you, but not every single woman in America believes that because Hilary Clinton is female that all women should automatically support her. The act of labeling other women "traitors" does nothing more than continue to divide the party, make you look like a sore loser, and expose just how sexist and petty you really are. Women are no more obligated to support Clinton than white males are to support McCain.

I supported Obama during the primaries, but I would have been out there fighting for Hilary if she had won. That's because I believe in the general philosophy and policy stances of the Democratic party. If you really believe in what the Democratic party stands for, then you'll do the same. If you won't, then you never really understood what you were supporting in the first place.

When November comes, if you're still one of those assholes that is going to sit at home or vote for McCain out of spite....well, I guess all I can say is....

Who's the traitor now?

aLs

My New Life

Finishing school was such a momentous event that I have yet to really appreciate it. Working on the bar every day and going to Barbri classes 5 days a week makes it feel like I haven't really finished with my schooling. I would estimate that I am 3 days behind at this point on making notecards and on practice essays. I spend about 6-8 hours a day studying and whatnot. After my studying I go to class for 3 1/2 hours.

It's time to address a few things that have been bugging me for a while. I need to start hitting the gym to lose the law school flab. I would estimate that I gained forty pounds over the last three years. When I was in school I never felt like I had the time to work out, but that excuse simply doesn't exist anymore. If I don't get into shape now, then I won't ever get into shape.

My Zombie plan is woefully inadequate. To be truthful, I don't even have one for my new home. Part of the problem is that I don't know my way around the city. There is a school right across the street from my home. More than likely the local government will designate it as a place of safety for the general public. This means I will have a death trap just 50 yards from my door. As one of the world's foremost Zombologists I am ashamed that I haven't done the neccessary research to ensure my survival in the Post-Zompocalyptic world.

Remember people, accepting the inevitable zombie apocalypse takes only a moment. Preparing for it should take a lifetime. However short that lifetime may end up being.

aLs

How Do They Do It?

I can't help it, but I hate some of the new law students I've met down here. My hatred has nothing to do with their personalities or anything they've done to me (except for this one girl....roll your eyes at me one more time bitch).

I hate these people for another reason. A much more selfish, self centered reason. These people are currently working jobs while they struggle through the bar. They shrug nonchalantly whenever someone asks if they're worried that they never have any time to really study.

HOW COULD THEY NOT CARE??!!!

How can so many of them think they're so smart?! They either really are that smart, or they're being stupid. Yet, this state has almost a 90% bar passage rate. I figure that if 1/3 of the people I've met are doing this, that means at a minimum 2/3 of the 1/3 are going to pass anyways.

I hate them for not being afraid and for not suffering like I do. The volumes of information I have to memorize for this stupid exam is just staggering. Today was the Barbri video on property. I hate property law. It's just like contract law, except it is archaic, often lacks rational explanations, and is the opposite of contract law. Property law is what I would come up with if you stuffed me full of illegal narcotics and asked me to write the first thing that came to mind.

Why won't the lights turn on?

Actual Picture of My New Town

I've decided to keep this blog running until I take the bar and maybe until I get the results. After that, I'll probably start something new. When I start the new blog I'll let everyone know where it is and whatnot. I'm pretty flattered that people actually want to know where it will be.

Anyways...

I was awoken yesterday morning to the sound of thunder and lightning. I don't know why, but my first thought was "storms can't happen in the morning." I went back to sleep.

Later on I woke up for real. It became immediately apparent that the morning storm had knocked out the power in my home. A quick glance outside confirmed that tree branches littered the ground and a few trees had even decided to fall over. I spent the rest of the day learning how important electricity is to my lifestyle. For instance, when nightfall came I wasn't ready to sleep. I went to an outdoor bar and enjoyed some music, but going to a bar alone is depressing. I came home and sat on my concrete steps with a large soda. Watching cars drive by at night turned out to be pretty boring. I ended up going to bed early because there wasn't anything else I could do. The power came back on at 6AM this morning. Suddenly the TV was screaming out the morning news and all the lights were on. It scared the shit out of me.

The newspaper tells me that we experienced "near hurricane force winds" whilst I slept. I wish I had been awake for it.

Today I am going to be learning all about commercial paper. Basically, the law of checks. I'll bet you didn't even know that there is a whole chunk of law dedicated to checks. Well there is. I won't lie to you, if I had a choice between learning the law of commercial paper or digging my own heart out of my chest with a wooden spoon, I'd go for the spoon.

aLs

FREEDOM!!!

My grades came in today. I didn't fail anything. That means.....


I AM FREE! FREE OF LAW SCHOOL FOREVER!


So that's awesome. Anyways, I'm a few days into the Barbri thing now. These guys know their stuff. I have no idea how a person would figure all this stuff out on their own. They are able to tell me which topics will be on the exam and which topics probably won't. The morning class has about 50 people in it. I have only been to the night class, which is pretty small. There's only about 8 people in it. I can go to either one, but so far night is working out pretty well for me.

Anyways, just wanted to share that update.

aLs

Personality Exam

So I took this big long personality test. Some of the results were flattering. Some weren't. I know that some of my best friends read this blog so I thought I would post some of the results and see what people thought.

One of the first things that the personality test said was, "You are best described as usually taking care of yourself." I don't know if they mean that in a good way or a bad way. A paragraph below explains it further by saying

And for those people who do ask for help when they should have taken responsibility for themselves? This is the time when your more hard-edged side comes out. You are skeptical of people when they expect others to bail them out of trouble; if they got themselves into the bind, they should work their way out of the trouble. If it's an emergency, or if it's a friend who has been there for you when you have had hard times, you are there in a quick minute. But you are a discerning person and to you there is a big difference between an emergency and a self-inflicted wound. You just look at the facts: how the situation developed, how serious the situation, and how they can or cannot get through things on their own. The history you have with the person and with similar situations will inform you whether this is or is not a time for you to get involved.

The test went on to describe me as eccentric and out of touch. It had about ten other flattering traits listed, but those two definitely caught my eye. Eccentric came as no surprise, but out of touch? Seriously? Out of touch with what? My PURE MINDBLOWING AWESOMENESS?!

This part of the personality thing had this to say about people who have negative reactions to me:

You drive through life faster than the speed limit. When you hit speed bumps, and you hit a lot of them with your mind distracted from the straight line ahead, your wheels leave the ground.

Here are my emotional traits:

* Open
* Accessible
* Too Sensitive
* Reachable
* Candid
* Unguarded
* Unpredictable at times
* Somewhat Disorganized

I think it is hard for me to argue with open and accessible. Too sensitive? What do my friends think? Am I overly sensitive? I don't think I am, but who knows. I generally agree with reachable, candid, and unguarded. I agree with unpredictable at times as long as it means it in a good way. If it means it in a bad way then I'm not sure what they're talking about. I don't unpredictably rob banks or randomly start dancing when I'm in an elevator. I'm definitely a bit disorganized.

I recognize that as an internet personality test, this thing is probably somewhat limited in its ability to peer into my soul. However, it asked a million questions and took a while to do it. I know that it is somewhat respected by psychologists for its ability to spot personality traits. I'm not going to say where the personality test is because I don't want to risk giving away too many of my bad traits.

Tomorrow is Barbri registration. Wednesday is the beginning of the end. Watch out bar exam, I am coming for you.

aLs

Bringing Y'all Up To Speed

Graduation went off exactly as I imagined it would. There were speeches, family, friends, pictures, and good times to be had. It was great having my whole family together again on a vacation of sorts. My friend Jess flew down from Alaska for the graduation. Sadly, I was so busy getting ready to move that I only got to hang out with her a little bit.

Two days after graduation I was on the road to my new home. I put a hitch on the car and hooked it up to a UHaul trailer. The brake lights and blinkers stopped working the night before I was supposed to leave. I took the car to my mechanic and he told me to stop pissing money away by fixing my stupid car every month or two. I completely agree, but until very recently, I haven't had the kind of money necessary sell my crappy old used car to buy a newer crappy used car. Now that I am on the cusp of being an attorney, I want to get something flashy. However, I'd rather have something that runs well and gets great gas mileage. So I probably won't be impressing anyone with whatever my new car turns out to be.

I'm in my new home now. I live with my brother. He has two jobs and is almost never home. He works at a fire station and at an ambulance company. The fire station has him stay there for several days at a time. The ambulance company works him for a day at a time as well. Although I'm awfully lonely by myself in this strange town, it is nice having lots of peace and quiet.

Bar classes start on Tuesday. I'm not afraid of the bar. I am really looking forward to it. I am excited about ridding myself of the bar exam once and for all. It has been lurking in the back of my mind for three years. In just a few months I will never have to fear it again. As soon as the bar exam is dead, I can finalize my transcendence into the real world.

I wonder if I should try and make friends while I am studying for the bar? I know that I will be awfully busy, but the idea of waiting almost 2 months to start meeting people and exploring this place is a painful thought indeed.

Ciao for now,
aLs

6 Hours 10 Minutes!!!

I made a timeline for my readers, so you can see my history in an incredibly visual way.

Forget everything I said last night. I am exploding with excitement right now. 6 1/6 hours until I am free!

The last time I wasn't in school (not counting breaks) was when I was like 3. Back then, I used to chill all the time. I would watch cartoons, read picture books, and watch the big kids ride their bikes.

In six hours or so I am going to get right back to all that.

Until then, I'd better worry about trying to pass this silly test.

aLs

19 Hours

At 4:30 tomorrow I will depart the Law Student Universe.

At 4:30 tomorrow I shall arrive in The Quasi Purgatory Real World.

It's not the full real world because I'll be living off bar loans and attending Barbri sessions for the next 8 weeks.

I'm not excited like I thought I would be. Make no mistake, all I can think about is getting out of this town, but I just don't feel the excitement. There are so many things that I have to get done over the next week. I'm a little perplexed as to how I'm supposed to accomplish so much in so little time.

The last final in my way is a powerful one. It has the potential to destroy me, because I never paid attention and I only read every now and then. Yet, I have almost no fear. I've spent the day reading for it, petting my cats, and listening to music. Can aLs summon just a few more ounces of luck? Would the powers that be really let me fail my last final?

I think not.

aLs

Another Open Letter

An Open Letter To Anonymous Law Student From The Bar Exam


Dear Anonymous Law Student,


I am in receipt of your letter. I would like to congratulate you on finishing law school. The hand full of three hour exams that you were forced to take every 5 months were probably very challenging. It must have really helped that you had 4 months every semester to prepare for those contests of endurance.

Pay attention, I am no simple three hour exam. Nor will you have 4 months to leisurely prepare for me. I came into existence long before you were even a simple protein. Countless hordes of people have been turned away from their chosen profession because they could not withstand my terrible fury. I am Alpha and I am Omega, the beginning, and for many, the end.

Do you really think choosing to fight me in an easier State will help you? Have you considered that your failure will only sting more in a place that you were "guaranteed" to defeat me?

Enjoy spending $2000 on Barbri. Enjoy working day and night for 6 weeks to prepare for our time together. Enjoy it, because you'll be doing it again....and again....and again....until you are penniless, your friends and family have lost their faith in you, and you are weak with exhaustion, shame, and humiliation.

But hey, don't worry about it too much. You can tell yourself that the J.D. is a great degree. You're sure someone will hire you for something. You can just tell people that you realized that law wasn't for you. That you preferred a different kind of life. That you're the lucky one and all your old peers are the ones suffering. Yeah, you tell yourself that.

Eat Dirt,

The Bar Exam

An Open Letter

An Open Letter To The Bar Exam


Dear Bar Exam,

For the last three years I have known that you would be the final obstacle in the path to my freedom. I have been taught to fear and respect you. Some of my professors believe you are a necessary evil. Others whisper to me that you are an unconstitutional hazing ritual that The Bar forces on people to keep attorney salaries inflated and to ensure that the learned profession remains an elite one.

There have been times that I feared you. I have found myself short of breath just thinking about the consequences of being defeated by you when battle is finally joined in July. Like many successful Generals before me, I have even chosen my battleground State, partially because of optimistic passage scores.

The past three years I have trained to understand you, to get under your skin, and finally, to destroy you. However, that training will be nothing to regimen I shall soon undertake. I will sharpen my knowledge to a scalpel like precision. I will learn to strike at upwards of 15 issues in a mere 45 minutes. I will master the ancient art of timing bathroom breaks to match the appropriate break times I am given by the Tyrannical Bar Proctors.

Perhaps you believe that my confidence will be my downfall? You are wrong. I have seen the empty shells of the men and women that you have ravaged before me. I have watched egos come crashing down like once mighty oak trees. I would not be so foolish to underestimate your power.

But I refuse to fear you. Though I know that my success is not guaranteed, I plan on laying waste to everything you are. I will not attempt to merely pass you. No...I will try to injure you so deeply that your unborn children will bare the scars of your humiliation. From hence forth, those who look upon me shall see that while I may have been bloodied, I was clearly the victor.

And after that, I will join my peers in forcing you on the unfortunate graduates who attempt to enter my learned profession. You will be my partially brain dead guard dog that flings himself upon those he does not know. I will also kick you when I am angry. Yours will be a dirty life of servitude to me and my peers. My future is a bright one, but your future is full of sorrow and pain.

Sincerely,

Anonymous Law Student