Psych Majors Unite!

I have this recurring dream. Let me give you a bit of background, then maybe you can help me understand it.

When I was about 12 I took flying lessons in a Cessna 170. Flying turned out to be pretty complicated, but I did pretty well. I landed the plane a few times. My favorite thing to do was to climb up and up and up until the plane was only going 40 mph or so. The Cessna would lose its lift and fall like a rock. If you haven't done this before, let me tell you, there is no roller coaster on Earth that can come close to plummeting towards the Earth in an airplane.

I had trouble using the radio. I also had a lot of trouble understanding the holding patterns. It bugged me a lot that when I was landing, one misstep could cause instant death. I remember looking down while the plane was gliding towards the runway and seeing the tips of the trees so close.

So here's my dream.

For one reason or another I find myself piloting an airplane. Everyone thinks I'm a pilot, so it's not a big deal to them. I'm too afraid to point out that I have no idea how to fly a plane (I've forgotten everything I learned all those years ago).

I never actually land the plane in my dreams. I just spend a lot of time dreading it. Should I tell someone I have no clue how to fly? Nah, we're already in the air, if I tell someone I can't do it, it's just going to make them freak out.

I'm having this dream several times a week now, for the last few months.

So take a shot amateur psychologists.

aLs

Ahhh, the 90's

I've been on this 90's kick lately.

Back in the 90's we had Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Seinfeld, Flagpole Sitta, Beastie Boys, Clinton, The Internets, and Nirvana hadn't been taken out by Courtney Love (or a shotgun I suppose).


We also had 3rd Rock From The Sun



I just picked up the first two seasons for 20 bucks a pop. It's a steal. This was one of the funniest shows to ever hit television folks. Now you can watch it without commercials. I feel like watching the show is like peering back in time about 10-15 years. Life was good then.

I'm approaching 25. Here's a fun graph. It's not exactly scientific, but it's basically a road map to my life. I left out the X rated stuff because this here blog is a family activity. I'll explain the map. The Tomato soup is neutral and means life is acceptable. I'm never really excited about Tomato Soup and Saltines, but on the other hand, I'm never upset to have it either. It seems like a good middle ground.

Bees on my face means I'm hitting rock bottom.
Let's not hurt the friendship means what it means.
Sandpaper on my eyes would hurt.

Zombies didn't take the top spot. KILLING ZOMBIES would have taken the top spot, but I've never been that happy in my entire life. Maybe some day.



I want one more big adventure before I settle down. Anonymous City Y (X is where I get schooled) is the kind of city I could put permanent roots down in and be happily ever after.

But I have the explorer bug in me. Also, City Y is so f*cking hot that I want to rip my skin off and shove it in the freezer. If I could find another city that I liked just as well that wasn't the temperature of the sun, I'd be pleased.

Where could I go?

Colorado. Here's what I know about Colorado.


My roommate just knocked on my door and the following incredibly awkward conversation took place in the dark hallway:

Roomie: Hey, could you do the dishes, cuz like, I can't afford to keep eating out.

(He just arrived, unannounced, this morning, so I have no idea what he means by "keep eating out")

aLs: Uhhh, yeah, sure, I just put a load through the dishwasher, but I'll get the rest pronto.

(I'm thinking: I'm not going to use soap. I hope you like smudges, thumb prints, and left over oil streaks.)

What was your favorite show from the 90's? Seinfeld is funny, but if that's your answer, you have to say another one too, since everyone liked Seinfeld.

aLs

I'm Frustrated

There's absolutely no credible reason why individual States in this country should insist on denying reciprocity to attorneys. Two States that I'm interested in would not grant me any kind of reciprocity. Since every other State that grants it requires that the place you are working also grant it, it means if I go to one of the asshole States I just can't ever leave.

Asshole States:

1. Nevada
2. Montana
3. Maine
4. Florida
5. California (Biggest assholes in the country actually)
6. Hawaii

I could see myself living in one of those places for a few years, but I would want to come back to the North west after a while. I don't want to take the bar again. Not ever again. I haven't taken it yet, but it's like a large monster in my future. Why would I fight the same beast twice?

So I guess I don't get to be an ace attorney practicing in the Sin City. I can't litigate and herd cattle with the cowboys of Montana. No lobster for this future lawyer in Maine.

None Asshole States I'm looking at:

1. Washington
2. Oregon
3. Colorado
4. Idaho
5. Alaska
6. Puerto Rico (I just put that down, I don't know much about Puerto Rico).
7. Cuba (That's a State right?)
8. Texas (Can you believe that they have one of the most liberal reciprocity statutes? Insane! Whatever you do, don't tell them.)
9. Minnesota


I think that lawyers as a whole should stand up and fight against this bullshit "stay out of my state" attitude. We're the only profession I know of that limits where its practitioners can live. It doesn't have to be that way.

Learning the law in a particular state isn't that hard. If you're worried about me screwing it up, make me take some CLE classes and get up to date on the differences between Anonymous State's Law and Asshole State's Law.

Nerrrr....

In this article, you will read about how Giuliani can turn a simple question about health care into some talking point about 9/11. He goes on to assert that we have the best health care system in the world (actually, we don't, not even close).

I respected this guy a lot more before I knew much about him. What a douche.

aLs

RX Bandits, The Fratellis, and Upstanding Youth

Three of my favorite bands. Feel free to Skank.


Rx Bandits (totally work friendly)


The Fratellis (moderately work friendly, lotsa girls in skimpy clothing dancing around)


Upstanding Youth (totally work friendly)

aLs

What's On The Web?

Turn off the cellphone!!!


The amazing cat vacuum


Math Symbols On A Blind Date...



"I'm the type of guy who likes me."

aLs

Murder the Bastard Sun

The heat is murdering my soul.

I can't think straight.

I'm supposed to be working on this memo for work. It has to do with amending a Code or the Constitution or the recipe for Skittles...but I can't think. All I can do is focus on how I'm never the temperature I want to be. I've been 20 degrees hotter than I'm supposed to be for the last few weeks.

I woke up this morning and the house was at 82 degrees.

RIGHT NOW I HATE LIFE

I'm Alaskan Damnit! Ice flows in my veins. I have glaciers and polar bears in my family tree. I am not made for prolonged exposure to temperatures that mirror MAGMA.

I've been wondering what I'll be doing in the next few years for work. It's quite possible that the firm I'm working for will hire me on full time after I graduate. However, they don't have a set in stone hiring scheme. That means I have to begin sending out applications.

I want to do criminal law (maybe family law too). I'd love to be a public defender, private defense attorney, or prosecutor. I can see being happy enough as any of those.

Sending out applications blows goats. I don't lie about myself per se, but I don't feel like any of the applications say anything about me at all. Not a single damn drop of my personality bleeds through these things. It's like, here's my grades, and here's a page or two of generic bullshit about me. Give me a call if you're interested in interviewing me, that way I can repeat all the bullshit I wrote down for you. If I sweat a lot and make an awkward comment or two, that's my personality bleeding through. Or the heat. F*CK THIS HEAT!

Here's a best of Craigslist post on stupid questions law students (and some lawyers I spose) get asked in interviews. This is worth your time. Well maybe not, but it's funny.

What I'm reading:



Props go out to Anonymous Coworker for this amazing link.

BURNING
aLs

Lazy Sunday

The Onion never ceases to be awesome. Here's a story about a temp that has to hide how much fun his life is from the lawyers and associates at the firm.

Okay, back to fighting the GDI.

KANE LIVES!
FIGHT ON, O' BROTHERS OF NOD!!!

aLs

Blogging At Work = Bad Idea?

There are other interns that I work with. I should tell you about them.

Errand: A girl with a dog. She loves this job as much as I do.

Mr. T: He fought a major battle in traffic court relating to stop sign heighth. He goes to my school. One of my newest favorite law students.

Other Interns: Not important. I don't hang out with them enough to be able to say anything about them.

Silly Intern: He's the topic of today's topic.

He started a blog a few months ago. His blog is special because not only does he put his name on it, but he also puts the name of our place of employment on it. He has become a topic of conversation for the entire office. Whether he knows it or not, he is being made fun of by everyone. The higherups are trying to decide how to respond to his newfound love of blogging. They've noticed with chagrin that he is posting while he is supposed to be working.

I apologize for the total lack of posting, but the heat here is killing me. I just can't bring myself to blog when I have no free time (between work and hating the heat, I'm all tapped out).

Anyone else had issues with someone blogging at work? The office's response to this guy has reminded me to be careful with this blog. Every now and then I entertain the idea of cutting it loose. Thoughts?

aLs

World Series Of Poker!!!

Click the Picture to Know Bliss

IT HAS BEGUN!

a "Mr. 2-4 Offsuit" LS