He loves me, He loves me not

Relationship Dilemma:

She Says: I love you.
He Says: Uhhhh, you're....uhhhhh....I like you great.

What is a guy supposed to do when he hears that phrase but can't really return it? So far my strategy has been to just acknowledge it. I've heard this phrase many times now. Here's my theory.

The phrase, "I love you" is a timebomb. It sets off a timer that silently ticks towards an eventual explosion. The only way to disarm this timebomb is to return the phrase. Even a talk about "I'm not ready to say that yet" won't disarm the bomb. The best that can do is slow down the ticker...but it keeps ticking. Eventually, the person who can't say "I love you" back gets labeled as out of touch with his/her feelings or becomes an object of anger for the person in love.

Saying "I love you" makes a person vulnerable. If they never get it returned, then I think it is quite possible that that person will turn those feelings into hatred. I mean, on the scale of pain, few things hurt as much as revealing personal feelings like that and not having them returned, ever.

So let's say hypothetically that a person hears this phrase, and hears it on a semi-regular basis. Let's further say that this person isn't sure if he will ever be able to honestly return it. Is his best move to:

1. Break up.
2. Continue to acknowledge it, but never return it.
3. Lie.
4. Hide until it all blows over.

I can be sneaky and I can bend the truth, but I don't think I can bring myself to do #3. I might be able to try #4, but I don't think it would work very well. I could go with #1, but I do enjoy things as they are. #2 seems like the best option. Opinions?

My vacation in Texas is drawing to an end.

It has been a pretty good vacation. I met my brother's wife for the first time. I drank expensive scotch while playing cards with my family. I outplayed everyone at the tables at the Choctaw Nation casino in Olklahoma. I watched the sun shine down on the Red River in Shreveport Louisiana. I walked the boardwalk in Bossier City Louisiana.

On the way down here I was given two free tickets because I got knocked off my flight due to overbooking. I gave one of those free tickets to my Mom for Christmas. The idea is that she can use the ticket to visit me this summer when I'm working in City X at my summer job. I think I'll use the remaining ticket to fund a trip to Vegas.

Soon my grades will be in. I am still unsure as to how bad I might have messed things up. I have no doubt that these grades will push me pretty far downwards rank wise. My only hope is that I can do better this next semester and regain some of my position.

I couldn't use spell check for some reason, so excuse my horrible spelling. Also, I am in a hurry, so I can't even reread the post and clean it up. Once again, my apologies. Regular posting will resume soon, when I return home from vacation.

aLs

Some News

I haven't done the news in a while...but here's how I see it.

In 1989 Exxon spilled 11 million gallons of oil into our beautiful Prince William Sound. Ever since then, Exxon has done everything in its power to fight responsibility for what it did. They have battled people in court and appealed every decision to its fullest. This company has refused to own up to the fact that it ruined thousands of people's lives and decimated ecosystems that have been relied on before Columbus set foot on this continent.

A federal appeals court in San Fransisco decided it should reward Exxon's neverending will to get out of what it owes. Bad decision. I think Alaska would be better to revoke Exxon's business license in our State. They screwed up and they still refuse to take responsibility for it. Screw them.

In other news, Bush is fighting to keep a bullet in his head. Not that Bush, a different one. Joshua Bush was shot in the forehead while he allegedly attempted to rob a car salesman or a zebra salesman or whatever. Prosecutors in Texas want the bullet removed so they can prove that Bush was at the scene. Bush claims that he was hit by a stray bullet while sitting in his living room. The surgery would not be life threatening...but the defense in this case brings up some very good privacy issues. If the government can compel you to have surgery to prove a point, where does it end? In this case, I side with the defense. Convicting Bush does not outweigh the important privacy interests here.

I hope everyone is having a good Christmas. It feels good to be posting again.

aLs

The Holidays Bring Reflection

Things happen during the semester that I don't have the time to really absorb. That means that when break comes around, all that pent up emotion during the semester hits me. I don't know if that's what it's like for everyone else, but for me that's how it is.

My cat, Orangey died during finals. Orangey, also known as Orange Kitty, Orange Julius, Kitty Kitty, oooOOOOrrrrrannnnngggeeeey kitty, but mostly Orange Kitty or Orangey. I know that pets die and that's life...but my cat was almost 21 years old. He has been with me since I was 4 or 5 years old. I wish I could have seen him just one more time. I'm going to grace you with a cat story now. I'll grace you with pictures when I get back home and have a decent connection speed to play with.

I finished up my last two years of high school in Texas. I spent the first 16 years of my life growing up in Alaska. Orangey was born when I was 4 or so, so he spent 12 years in Alaska. When we lived in Alaska there were four houses on my road. We couldn't see any of these homes from our yard or driveway. This neighborhood was the anti-suburb.

When we moved to Texas we had to rent a house for a while. We were having trouble finding a house to buy, so we ended up in a house in the middle of the suburb. I remember going out to get the paper in my robe (it was untied and I was just wearing boxers underneath). When I reached the mailbox, I realized I could see like 20 houses. The road was paved (my old road was a dirt road). People drove by my house at 40 mph. Pricks. At my old place, it simply wasn't possible to see the other houses from your mailbox. It was possible to traipse around in boxers to my heart's delight.

Anyways. I feared for my Alaskan cats. I had two at the time. Face Kitty and Orange Kitty. Face had been with us for many years at this point. She passed away a few years ago. She died fat and happy. Ugh, I keep going off track, sorry.

I was afraid that my Alaskan cats wouldn't know how to deal with so many people living in such a small place. I constantly worried that a car would run them over. My family shared my fears, so we didn't let the cats out of our tiny tiny backyard. We kept them in almost all the time. My cats hated that because they had always loved running all over my neighborhood in Alaska. Don't let any of those freaks from big cities tell you that it is cruel to let a cat run loose outside. It's cruel to lock a cat in an apartment and never let it go out.

One day we noticed Orange cat wasn't home. We figured that he had gone outside or jumped the fence. This had happened a few times, so we weren't too worried. When Orangey hadn't returned a day later....I was pretty sure he was dead. We put up signs and visited all the neighbors asking if they had taken in our cat. We knew he had his collar, so we hoped that someone would find him and call.

Three days passed and we heard nothing. At this point I had already done what any self respecting male does. I cried myself to sleep when nobody could see or hear me. Orangey was one of my dearest friends, the thought of losing him when I was in a strange place like Texas when I had no human friends just tore me into little pieces. Furthermore, I felt responsible. Orangey was my friend, but he didn't understand the suburbs (truthfully, I still don't). I felt that I had a duty to protect him from the things that he couldn't possibly deal with on his own (like people speeding through the residential zones).

I woke up on a Saturday thinking I'd go walk through another part of the neighborhood looking for my cat. I took a shower so that my neighbors would talk to me. Otherwise, I was just too stinky. There weren't any towels on the rack in the bathroom, so I opened the cabinet that held all the linens. Sleeping on a pile of fluffy towels was my big orange cat. He stretched, blinked his eyes at me a few times, and hopped out of the cabinet like nothing was out of the ordinary. I got all choked up, wrapped a towel around myself, and went to show him to the rest of my family. I can't tell you how ecstatic everyone was to see him.

My Orange cat isn't here anymore, this time it's for real. I've checked the linen closets a few times just to be sure, but this time, my friend isn't coming back. I wish I could hold him just one more time. I hope that he didn't wonder where I was when his time came. I'd give anything to go have been there for him.

aLs

Back Like A Heart Attack

I am alive and relaxing in Northeast Texas.

I kicked the shit out of community property, so I can be proud of that at least.

The other classes....we'll have to wait and see.

I'm having a good holiday. More soon. The blog was down because blogger was having some sort of posting problem. I have fixed it, so expect regular posts to begin again soon.

aLs

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FREE AT LAST

Finals are over! I am Free, Free, Thank the Lord, I am FREE!

My community property exam went pretty well. It was one of those exams where every single person in the room pretty much needed every possible second they could eek out from the silly thing. The exam was only supposed to last for two hours, but it took all three.

I'm trying to destress before I head down to Texas. I leave at the end of the week.

A girl is leaving things at my apartment whenever she comes over. I have this sneaking suspicion that she is somehow marking her territory...any thoughts, my female readers?

aLs

Awesome Video

Okay, I know many of you dislike MSN video, but this link is worth it. You are about to see the best damn quarters player I have ever seen. Kudos to him for also having a totally hot girlfriend.

Quarters Master

Teach me, Master.

aLs

The Post Test Wrapup

Well, all of my finals are done with except for one of them. The last final is for community property. That final is on Tuesday. Since I feel pretty strong in that class, I am taking today off as a day of rest.

The other classes....they didn't go so well.

Wills and Trusts: I pulled myself through as well as I could. I predict a slightly below the curve grade. The Cheat Sheets that we were allowed to take into the exam (two pages with printing on one side) were helpful. The key to this exam was knowing the cases and the statutes. I was under the impression that the statutes were going to be provided to us, but they weren't. Lucky I pretty much knew most of them. It would have been even more helpful for me to have known all the cases back and front. A few of her questions had elements taken directly from cases we covered.

Professional Responsibility: I may have to retake this course. I redefined the addage, "bombed the exam." It went as horribly as it possibly could. I can only hope and pray that I made it through...but if the grade is bad enough, I might have to retake it anyways to fix my grade.

Con Law: This didn't go so poorly. I believe I will land on the curve in this class. If I don't land on the curve, it'll be near it.

Legal Writing: The final paper for this class, I turned in a week or two ago. It went pretty badly. Hopefully the grade isn't too horrifying.

Community Property: Haven't had this exam yet.

Thanks to everyone that wished me well. I'll try to tone down the psycho mindset next time.

aLs

Prayers and wishes of good luck are mighty appreciated, but I don't know that they'll help. The signs and portents are clear, a chill wind blows.

als

My bad

I have so thoroughly fucked myself. I am actually fearing that I may fail some of my courses. I don't know what I was thinking.

I know that I predict doom every single time I get near finals, but I do not kid you this time. I am fully unprepared for any of my finals, and due to the fact that I have three of the stupid things back to back, I am screwed. I am good at cramming, but I cannot cram this much.

I don't know what I was thinking. I feel like I just woke up to reality a few weeks ago. I worked so hard this semester, but none of it stuck. I didn't pay attention in my classes and I slacked on the reading. I'm paying for it now.

More updates as they come.

aLs