Cover Letters

I've been developing a new blawg game with MiM. Keep an eye on his blawg for the official announcement.

I'm working on a post describing my job at the PD. I'm sure all you PD lawyers are just on the edge of your seats wondering how that's going.

For now, I'm going to talk about cover letters. I am currently working on sending out a few cover letters to employers this weekend. I loathe cover letters.

I loathe cover letters because I feel like I can't tell the truth. I feel like I can't say "I want to work at your company because I think you pay well and your work environment appears to be tolerable." Instead of saying that, I have to say "Your company is so awesome. I love it because:

1. You accomplish so much
2. Your partners publish awesome law review articles, I've collected the whole set.
3. Every associate gets a free monkey
4. Participation on the firm paintball team is mandatory, not optional.
5. Everyone smells so good
6. Maniacal laughs are encouraged
7. You aren't even reading my cover letter are you? They're all the same anyways.
8. I have always hated mustard, that means I am a perfect fit for your firm.
9. Okay, one time I ate mustard on a chili dog and didn't hate it.
10.I do great impressions. I will develop an impression for every single authority figure at the firm and perform it for anyone that will laugh. I will then develop an impression for every associate who didn't laugh."

Okay, I don't have to say that, but still...you get the point. Cover letters suck.

In other news, I wore my shirt inside-out to class today. That is an incredibly humbling experience. I was thinking to myself "what if I do this at work? How stupid would I be then?"

Contra Girl has not contacted me yet. Looks like that might not be going as I'd hoped.

aLs

Kudos To Judge Hedstrom

I covered the story about this guy before. Justin Barber was sentenced to death by a Florida jury for the murder of his wife. The evidence seems kind of thin to tell the truth.

Anyways, Justin Barber refused to put on any defense witnesses for mitigation, to avoid the death penalty. His defense attorney valiantly proclaimed "He will not put his family through that. He will not do that in an effort to seek mercy for a crime he did not commit."

That move makes him seem even more innocent to me.

Judge Edward Hedstrom disregarded the jury's decision to put Mr. Barber to death. He has made the sentence life in prison for Mr. Barber. I would like to commend Judge Hedstrom for a brave move. He will likely receive a large amount of criticism for this move. I think Florida should consider not using the death penalty so often. Why are criminals so much more evil in Florida that they have to put people to death are such a ridiculously high rate?

It seems to me that if we are going to have a death penalty, then it should only be given for the most heinous of heinous crimes. It is used far too often in this country.

aLs

Jinx Jinx Jinx?! Hope Not.

The very fact that I'm about to say that this girl is awesome guarantees that it will all go downhill in some horrible way.

This girl is awesome. Contra Girl is cute, funny, very interesting, gentle, and sane. The last few girls I've gone out with, at some point while they were talking, I thought to myself "this girl is a complete moron/totally insane/boring." I didn't really see any true long term potential in the last few.

I'm totally jinxing myself, but this girl has long term potential.

Also, I think that it's not just one way this time. She invited me out next weekend. That shows interest on her part. She even asked if I had a good time. Let me tell you, not a single girl I've gone out with the last few times ever cared enough to ask if I had a good time.

Okay. Deep breaths. Just got to keep my cool. Got to do my best not to switch into stupid mode. I do stupid things in stupid mode.

Alright, I hope I didn't jinx this. I wouldn't have even posted it, but none of my friends are online for me to chat with.

aLs

Like Boxes of Shit in Your House?

My good friend Sandtalb over at The No-Fact Zone made a comment to me just an hour or so ago that really sums up something that I've been thinking for a long time. The jist of his comment was this (edited to protect location, and also, my memory blows, so this is not word for word what was said)

Sandtalb: I just got back from Big City, and I had totally forgotten how awesome it was to be around friends that I've had since I was a kid. I mean, I've made some good friends here, but I really don't like a lot of the people I go to school with.

I've thought for a long time that in all truth, I wouldn't hang out with a lot of the people here if I didn't feel like I have no other choice. Most of the people I've met seem like the people in High School I didn't like. A lot of them are preppie, popularity seeking, spotlight type people. They form cliques faster than Louie Armstrong empties a buffet.

I've made a few good friends here. However, I can literally count on one hand the number of people I expect to keep up with after law school. I'm not saying I hate everyone I meet, I'm just saying that they are so completely unlike me in every way that any kind of real friendship just isn't possible or even desired.

Is Matterhorn reading this blog? I lost your email address. Email me.

Like boxes of shit in your house? Get a cat. If allergies have been holding you back then your life is about to change. A US biotech firm, Allerca, is selling cats that will not trigger allergies. I like cats, so I'm happy to hear this. Now I will never have to hear a significant other tell me "we can't have a cat because cats make me die."

US bashing was hardcore at the UN. While I think that the UN should remain a more civil place than Hugo Chavez would have it be, I think the message is clear. America is pissing off the world hardcore. I hope our next President has years of experience with PR. He's going to have his work cut out for him. Bush has taken a shit the size of Kansas on our image. It's going to take a lot of time and effort to reclaim the political power that we have lost these last few years.

Do not tell me I should have put He/She when I referred to our future President. I don't put He/She because I'm not so PC that I have a desire to make sure everyone knows that when I properly use the word "he", I mean "He/She/black/White/Christian/everyfuckingbody." Someone commented on that to me the other day, I wanted to push Him/Her into the river/stream/canal/tributary.

Holy Son of a bitch, read this alternative September 11th history. Imagine how things could have been....I would never stop voting Republican if this is how things had gone. Looking back on the last 5 years makes me feel ill.

aLs

Fast Times At MySpace High

I'm doing better. I'm still pretty much bankrupt, but what you saw the other day was all the stress of the week crushing down on me. Sometimes when I finish something stressful (moot court), I get a backlash from all the stress that I ignored while I was working.

Contra Girl, a few days ago, changed our date to Sunday. Strike 1. It might not be a strike if she had given me a reason, but no reason was proffered. I'm still looking forward to it though, she seems like she has lots of potential.

In the News, a man who answered a craigslist ad was sexually assaulted. He arrived at the apartment and a man said that his female roommate had left, but would return shortly. The ad responder guy then accepted some kind of drink from the attacker. The drink was laced with sleep aids. This is the first incident of this type to be reported, but I think it comes at a bad time for Craigslist...what with all the bad publicity it has been getting recently.

If you needed more proof that MySpace is for retarded high school students, here it is. These kids put up a fake profile of their principle. The profile claimed she was a lesbian and said a few other things that weren't true. The fake profile then started posting lewd things. Anyways, the stupid kids are being charged with 3rd degree felonies and she's suing their families for big dollars. Take that you little pricks!

Anxiety

I get surges of anxiety sometimes. I can physically feel the stress, it feels like a 50 pound weight on my chest. When it gets really bad, even breathing is hard. That's how I feel now. I have no money, no good references, an ear infection (but no health insurance or money, so I'm deaf on the right side until further notice). I have no idea what to do.

I'm working at the PD office so I can get some references, but I'm not doing anything of legal nature. IF I want to do something legal like, I could...but I imagine I'd have to put in more than the 9 hours a week that I put in. I have no time for anything as it is now, I have no idea how I could pull more time out of my ass. Now with the contracts tutor job starting, I just feel completely boxed in with no options. I need to talk to someone about getting the days increased to 36 hours, that's the only way I could get all this shit done.

Okay, Paul Simon is going to calm me down. Apparently he's going to Graceland.

aLs

Under The Gun

The Gods smile upon me. Let's get this straight, I didn't procrastinate on the Moot Court thing. I really thought it was next week. I've been so bogged down with school and work that I've started to slip. Anyways, here's a breakdown of the last 24 hours or so.

10PM Last Night: HOLY SHIT! MOOT COURT TRYOUTS ARE TOMORROW!? MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

Midnight: I vow to skip class tomorrow and do what I do best, which is work under pressure. My powers of procrastination have developed this ability to a fine point. I didn't procrastinate this time, but they will still help.

7:00AM Woke Up for the first time today, but not the last time.
7-7:30AM Smashed the snooze button approximately 7 times. My stupid snooze button only gives me five minutes per smash.

7:33 Coffee has begun forming in my coffee machine. Shower.
7:45 I'm eating fruit loops and sipping delicious Columbian coffee with a bit of Irish cream.

8:15 To the PD!
11:00 I've run out of things to do at the PD. I kill the next 50 minutes watching domestic violence cases. Some defendants make good decisions with their pleas, one in particular makes a horrible decision, which the Judge notices.

Judge: You understand that if you violate the terms of this agreement, you will automatically be found guilty of this offense and will spend a year and a half in prison?

D: Yeah.

Judge: You understand that you have to go two years without a single criminal offense of any kind, and you are going to agree to this deal?

D: Yeah.

Judge: Sir, you haven't gone more than 12 months without committing a criminal offense since 1995. I don't think this is a good idea, for you to take this deal? Have you really gone over this, real careful with your attorney? (Attorney looks squeamish now)

D: Yeah, I got it. (annoyed)

The Judge then signed off on it. I'm with the Judge, the attorney isn't thinking in the long term here. Her client is going to get the maximum sentence on those charges because she's fighting a war with reality. Way too optimistic.

Anyways, back to my day.

12:00pm Lunch.
1:00pm Chatting online.
2:00pm Still chatting, reading email, reading blawgs.
2:30ish I start writing my closing statement
4:00 Closing statement is a page and a half. I email it to myself so I can print it out at the school.

4:50 I'm in my suit and climbing into my car.
5:20 I've condensed the speech into 4 or 5 notecards
6:00 I'm giving the speech to myself, over and over again, on the balcony outside. It's raining all around me, I'm barely avoiding it by standing underneath the awning.

6:30 I've been spotted by HeadHunter (my new nickname for a notorious law student here)
6:31 I realize how screwed I am. He won't shut up and leave me alone.
6:45 Hints are failing. I jog away when he turns around for a second.
7:00 The buildup of the last 21 hours is coming to fruition.
7:04 It's over.
11PM Email received: aLs, we would like to invite you to join Moot Court Council. Congrads. Please accept or reject asap.

11:01PM Acceptance sent.
11:38 Blog post nearly finished. Must acquire funny picture, then begin bed preparation.

11:45 Commence sleep. (This is only an estimate time, it hasn't happened yet)

It's Today?!!

So there I was, chatting with my friend Eggs online yesterday. He says something about the Moot Court tryouts being this week. I say "I thought they were next week?!" He says "nope." I checked the schedule (this is 10pm), was tomorrow (which is today). Son of a bitch. I only have a few hours to prepare my closing argument and get ready to face questions from the faculty and council members that show up. Sucks to be me.

My Grandma J is visiting. I ate lamb for the first time last night. It tastes a bit like beef, but less beefy.

Second date has been acquired with the girl I met the other week. I should give her a nickname. Her nickname will be Contra Girl. Anyways, I'm going to do dinner and a movie with Contra Girl. I wish I could be more creative, but I feel way to busy to be more creative. I figure dinner gives a chance to chat, and movie...well...I want to see All The Kings Men. I have no idea if that will be a good date movie, but I think as a movie, it's going to kick some major ass.

Did you hear that women have a slightly lower IQ than men? That's what this controversial new study is claiming. DO NOT slam me for posting this link, I didn't say I agreed with it or anything, I just thought it was an amusing link.

Dan Savage over at Savage Love has the perfect response to the Craigslist Experiment (That guy, Jason Fortuny, published everyone's personal information online). I totally agree with Mr. Savage. Quit acting like these guys had it coming. They weren't hurting anyone. Mr. Fortuny is just an asshole, pure and simple.

I've decided that I am not totally against the death penalty. If I had the power, and if the person that did this does not suffer from sort of mental disease, I would most certainly seek the death penalty in a case like this. This woman was pulled behind a moving vehicle with a rope wrapped around her neck. Her death was probably excrutiating and she probably died terrified. Whoever did this is a sick fuck and the world will be better off without them.

Also, necrophilia isn't illegal in Wisconsin! In fact, it's not illegal in most States. I don't know about you, but I know what I'm doing this weekend! (shiver).

How Are We Feeling Today?!

A new study shows that lawyers in WA (and they believe everywhere pretty much) suffer from depression at 3 to 4 times the societal average. Alcoholism is more than double the average persons rate, and more than twice as many attorneys have tried cocaine than the average person.

It makes for an interesting read. What, if anything, should law schools and the bar do about this phenomenon? If it turns out that people that are depressed and more likely to try drugs are also more likely to enter into the legal profession, can anything really be done?

Thanks to Elle for the link.

aLs

It Went Alright

Anonymous City was big. I sometimes forget that I'm from a small town. Anyways, the interviews went pretty well. One of the prosecutors was really nice. He seemed happy to see me. The other prosecutors...two female attorneys, scared me a little. They'd be laughing with me one second, then asking an off the wall question a second later.

I met with another blogger that I know when I visited Anonymous City. She took me to a really tasty pizza place. Prettiest girl there.

At both of the interviews I asked about how many hours the new associate tends to work per week. 60. Holy Crap. That sounds miserable. I know that that's common for a lot of new attorneys, but shit. It really hit home when they said that. What was I thinking when I decided that becoming a lawyer would be a good idea. I'm the kind of guy that has no problem just making ends meet, so long as I can spend lots of time enjoying life. What am I doing here? I feel like law school is never going to end. It's just going to get replaced by some hardcore job. Maybe I can get a job as a janitor somewhere in the West Indies.

And Now, for the News.

Did you read about the big nurse that strangled the intruder in her house? At first, the police thought it was just a burglary gone bad...now they know otherwise. It appears that the nurse's husband may have hired that man to kill her. I guess the husband is learning an important lesson right now: You get what you pay for. Don't go el cheapo on the hitman. There is a major quality difference, you just have to look for it.

In other news, this court made a bad decision. Mr. Corbin has murdered two women, with premeditation, 14 years apart. To add insult to injury, he made both murders appear as if they were suicides. Can you imagine someone telling you that your sister killer herself, but you thought it was the boyfriend? For two premeditated murders, Mr. Corbin is serving consecutive life sentences. He is eligible for parole. In some states, he could have gotten the death penalty. While I think that is a bit much, I definitely think that he has forfeited his right to any kind of liberty. Furthermore, he's shown that he's a danger to society. For the safety of others, we cannot let him go. Parole would be wrong for this man.

Here's the video of some family members speaking at Mr. Corbin's sentencing.

One Of THOSE Days?

Thanks to Sadie for the pic.

Have you ever realized that the next day of your life could potentially change the rest of your life? That's how I feel about tomorrow. I am flying into a nearby city for two interviews. Both of these positions are at DA's Offices. If I were to do good tomorrow I would get a summer position, then maybe get an offer. An offer could potentially change the whole course of my life.

Or, maybe I'll screw up. Then maybe I'll take a different job in a non-criminal justice area and end up living somewhere totally different with a totally different life because of it. Who knows.

I feel like I should explain to the PD's that I know read this blog why I haven't applied at any PD offices. I can't do what you do. I have more respect for you guys than I do for prosecutors. I feel like you guys have to survive in a world of grays. The public doesn't understand what you do, your clients are often disrespectful or inappreciative. You've sacrificed pay to do something that is absolutely integral to our system of justice.

I just can't do that. I can't bring myself to defend "those people" as ACS's blog puts it. I've interviewed a lot of them now, and my heart goes out to some of them. Some of them have never had a chance...they've been recycled through the system over and over again and never given the opportunity to succeed.

I need to live in a world that is more black and white. I feel like Public Defenders have to keep their eyes on the bigger picture. They know that when they get evidence thrown out because of say...an illegal search, that they are serving society by reminding the police that our civil rights aren't just quaint suggestions.

I don't want to have to ever wonder about what will happen if I keep someone from going to prison that probably should go. As a prosecutor I'll have the discretion and positioning that I need to pursue restorative justice (let me dream), redirect the people that deserve to be redirected, and come down hard on the ones that I believe are a danger to society.

If I become a prosecutor, I promise to remain a good guy. I hope nobody holds chickening out against me.

Anyways, I doubt I'll sleep at all tonight. I'm nervous. I'm bouncing around my apartment trying to find a way to slow myself down. I just used google video to learn how to tie a tie. I am in my mid-twenties and I just learned how to tie a tie.

I'd better get back to trying to be tired. Tomorrow might be the first day of the rest of my life.

aLs

Vegas Guy

A while back I posted a story about an attorney in Vegas that got drunk and went to court anyways. Then he lied about why he was all messed up. This is one of the funniest clips ever. My favorite quote, "Your honor, I am philisophically against calling the police in any situation."



And Part 2



This guy needs treatment. What a dork.

Seriously Funny Stuff

Does the fact that I can't stop laughing at this make me a jerk? Oh man, this is so freaking funny.

It reminds me of the time that I took my friend Lynnburger up onto the ferris wheel, then started rocking it. She was scared half to death...it was a date. Funny, in a cruel sort of way...but still funny.

Things Are Looking Up

Thanks to the goons at SomethingAwful for the pic.

Today was one of those days where everything goes really well.

I got the Kontracts tutor job. Thank God for positive cash flow. I'm going to meet with the professor tomorrow. I'm kind of afraid that he's going to randomly quiz me, just to make sure I know my stuff. I'm such a dork, I'm actually flipping through the primer to refresh myself...just in case.

I also got myself a drivers license. The lady told me that if I was 16 she would have failed me, but since she knew I'd been driving for many years that she would pass me. I scored an 84%, but only because she let me slide on a few small things. I feel like this state has a hazing policy for people from other states. Atleast they didn't insist on giving me a swirly.

I went on a date with a very cute girl. She's smart, interesting, and can spell...a fine catch. Let's see if I can manage to play it cool, not blow it. The best thing: She's got good movie taste and has hobbies that I would label....dorky. Dorky is good, very good.

Now for some news.

You may have heard that suicidal students often find themselves getting kicked out of the dorms. Why is this? Well, I hate to blame the lawyers, but I'm going to do just that. Schools have been sued when students (adults mind you) committed or attempted suicide while living in their dorms. Some of these schools really did do their best to help severely depressed students...but with the kind of liability they were looking at, they adopted new policies. The new policy is that if you attempt suicide while living in the dorm, you have violated the housing policy.

I don't blame the schools. It seems ridiculous to me that fully grown adults that decide to commit suicide, are allowed (or their estate is allowed) to sue the school. I'm not saying that it's the student's fault that they are so depressed or that they were pushed to the point of suicide.....But I just don't see that a school should be liable for that decision.

If I was a legislator, I would pass a law that basically protects Universities from liability unless it was reasonably certain that someone was going to commit suicide and no action was taken. I would make the bar high. It'd be really hard to prove the University was at fault. I would also stop schools from kicking out these students. Exile doesn't usually help depression. All this because a few people got greedy and sued their school.

Here's a great example of a prosecutor abusing his discretion. This father is going to hit even harder, just because he brought his child lunch money? What an asshole thing to do to someone. The father may have many faults, but atleast he cared enough for his son to bring him lunch money. It seems tragic to punish him for that. I can't help but wonder if they purposefully let him enter school grounds, just so they could charge him with that.

And finally, British police are insulted by a lawn gnome. They must be really bored if they have time to screw around with a lawn gnome.

I slept for 12 hours last night. I want to sleep 12 more.

aLs

Craigslist Experiment

If you ever needed a reason to be careful with your information online....check this story out. A man baited men on craigslist with a fake sex ad. He then posted all the emails, pictures, and identifying information of the 150 or so people that responded.

I almost linked directly to his site, but then I thought better of it. My page is anonymous, but knowing what this guy did, I don't want anything to do with it.

I can't help but wonder if someone is going to shoot this little shit in the face.

aLs

Pizza Guy

This is the oddest pizza guy interaction I've ever had.

I was sitting in my community property class this afternoon, listening to my professor finish up her talk about meretricious relationships. Meretricious relationships. That's the judgmental term of art used for people livin' in sin.

Suddenly there's a slight knock on the door. After a few seconds, it opens slightly. A pizza guy stands there, and is totally ignored by the entire class. Everyone knows that this particular classroom is frequently used by clubs for meetings and that pizza is often used to induce starving law students to attend those meetings.

The pizza guy's face begins to convey his annoyance. Still standing in full view of the class, he knocks loudly on the door again.

The professor: "Uhhh, yes?"

Pizza Guy: "I've got this pizza here to deliver."

Professor: "Well, we're having class in here, but we'll be done in about 5 minutes."

Pizza Guy: "Well, the thing is, I'm supposed to deliver this pizza now. The order says that it is supposed to be delivered at 11:50, and it's 11:50." (Note: It was 11:45)

Professor: "Well, maybe the pizza is supposed to go to another classroom...or perhaps after this class the club that ordered it will be here to pay for it."

Pizza Guy: "Yeah, I got to deliver this now."

Random Law Student: "I think that goes to the Moot Court Room, they ordered pizza for today."

Pizza Guy: "Okay, well, it says this room, and that's what my job is, to deliver it to where I'm told to deliver it."

Professor: "I'm sorry, but I just don't know how to help you."

Pizza Guy leaves, then opens door and says "This is just how I do my job."

Another random law student: "Jeeze buddy, go get a high school education."


Pizza guy did not hear the second random law student. A fact which is very good for that student. I imagine that making a total prick comment like that is probably in violation of our honor code. The thing is, Pizza Guy was being rude to us. He was early and in the wrong place. He should have called his boss or waited until 11:50. The second law student to speak was totally out of line in what he said, but I hate to admit that I was thinking the same thing. It's like this guy didn't have the ability to think logically. It was weird. I've never seen such a stubbornly dedicated pizza guy. I think he would have crossed through a live firefight to get to his pizza delivery destination. I don't think it would have mattered if the destination was at the bottom of the ocean. This is definitely the kind of pizza guy you can fool into delivering 30 extra large pizzas to your school's principal.

Like I said, I feel for Pizza Guy. I've had shitty jobs before, and I know the hassles. I'm sure he has formed a powerful pet peeve for businesses and clubs that order pizza, but aren't where they said they'd be.

My friend Dougerrnaut has agreed to go to Maine with me. He just doesn't know that he's agreed.

If you met an interesting girl, but she managed to misspell a rather simple word, would you cease all communication with her? I think I will. Arbitrary and Capricious? You bet.

Do you have any interesting pizza guy stories? Would you cease communication because of bad spelling (which you believe may be indicative of bad learnin' on their part)?

aLs

More Power!

When it comes to computers, I'm a lot like Tim from that show Home Improvement. I need all the power I can get. When I upgrade, I upgrade all the way. I recently dropped a crap-ton of money on a hard drive that goes just a tinsy bit faster and a monitor with a slightly better latency and frame rate. To me, it's worth every penny.

I failed my driving test the other day (the written test). I passed it the second time. There are some really silly questions on the driving test. I'd like to say that this state is alone in having retarded questions, but I'd be lying. Every driving test I've ever taken has plenty of questions with debatable answers. Half of the questions have nothing to do with driving at all.

Wednesday I take the actual driving test. I wonder if I'll feel 17 again when the test guy tells me I suck at parallel parking?

I had to drive around today without my license or registration. If I got pulled over, I wonder if the morality committee on the bar would care? I didn't get pulled over, just wondering.

My house is a dump. I have an interview next week for a position with a DA's Office. I need to buy an airplane ticket.

The spell check isn't working, so I apologize for any horrible spelling mistakes.

G'night.

aLs

The Controversy

My cooking comment seems to have struck a chord with a few people, so I thought I would elaborate on what I think.

Obesity is fast becoming one of the biggest health problems in the United States. Fast food and eating out have become a daily activity for lots of Americans. Why are we, as a country, getting fatter?

Well the answer to that question could fill an entire book. It has to do with our culture, some other stuff, and marmits. One major reason: Nobody knows how to cook anymore. A major study that I conducted shows that most people my age have no idea how to cook.

Notice I use the word "people." That's because I don't care if you're a man or a woman. You should know how to cook. It's a basic living skill. Expecting your significant other to do all the cooking is a good way to be annoying. Gain some independence and learn how to cook some chicken or something. No significant other? Well don't just eat out all the time or make macaroni nightly...unless being fat or spending five times as much on food sounds awesome.

My comment the other day was directed at women. I have met plenty of women that have no idea how to cook. Most of them wouldn't mind learning. I will admit that more women know how to cook than men. However, some women seem to be extremely proud that they have no idea how to cook. I find that obnoxious coming from men or women, but it seems that I've heard it more from women. Don't brag about being ignorant. It makes you sound ignorant. That's what I was pointing out about the Sexy and the City episode I saw. It just made me think about how annoying that attitude can be.

Like I said, major studies that I have conducted myself have shown that the people that are proud to not be able to cook are mostly women. There are some men like that, but it's more that they are just lazy, not proud.

The other controversy is on the proper spelling of Marmit. The rest of the world feels that I should spell it Marmot. However, I prounounce the world Mar-Mitt. I feel like spelling it that way, so I will continue to spell it that way. I've had other people comment on how I spell that magical word, so I thought I'd just put this discussion to rest.

I passed the written portion of the driving exam today. I failed it yesterday. Don't laugh, some of those questions are beyond moronic.

aLs

I would rather date a marmit.

Well, the tutor thing is looking grim. I really thought I had that all sewn up, but I guess not. I've been informed that me and another guy are being considered as tutors for a contracts professor that doesn't even know if he wants a tutor.

That sounds like a joy.

What do you want to bet that the little SBA committee gave the job to one of their buddies? That's what I suspect may have happened.

A line I heard on Sex In The City: "Cook?! Me? Are you kidding?! I use my oven for storage."

That's real cute. I hope you know that whoever your future significant other is (or current for that matter) probably didn't learn to cook just so they could do that for you until the end of time. (I realize that some of you are saying "I don't have a significant other, so shut up." I can only respond to that with "This is my blog, so you shut up.")

Why is it that so many women seem to equate progressive, modern, and liberated with "I don't cook." It isn't progressive and liberated to be unable to cook, it's silly.

aLs

Uncomfortable.

My blood pressure feels like it's ten times stronger than it should be. I utterly failed to make any real progress on outlining for my courses. I did do all the required reading, but I didn't get ahead on anything.

I don't know if I'm going to get the tutor position. It has been a week and a half since I gave the SBA my application...no word.

The heat is driving me insane. The next time I move somewhere, I'm going to make sure that the AC is powerful enough to freeze me solid. The heat just makes me want to sleep. I pray every night for snow.

I just watched a very well done documentary on the military industrial complex. Anyone that supports the war in Iraq is either: a moron, unable to think critically, doesn't pay attention to politics, doesn't pay attention to history.

Our President has told us that Iraq was connected to 9/11, and he has directly stated that it was not connected to 9/11. Why are we in Iraq? Seriously, I dare one Republican to come up with a comprehensible explanation that isn't just a bunch of illogical fanatical crap they heard on Fox News.

aLs

Falling Off The Fence

Thanks to SomethingAwful for the pic.

I took a course on the death penalty this summer. It was taught by an extraordinary attorney that has tried many many death penalty cases. He has always played the defense side.

As a liberal, I have a tendency to approach the death penalty with lots of caution. I know that it is racist, arbitrary, and considered barbaric in most of the civilized world.

That said, I can't bring myself to say we shouldn't have it. This case is a good example, two good samaritans were murdered for interrupting a rape. They attempted to escape with the victim, but the perpetrator unleashed a stream of gunfire. Then he pursued them, and shot them execution style, while they lie prone and defenseless on the ground.

I hate that I feel this way...But as I read this story, I know that if I were a prosecutor, I would consider filing a charge of Aggravated Murder In The First Degree. Punishable only by life in prison, or Death.

Mind you, I would want to know if the perpetrator was mentally stable and whatnot. But if he wasn't, I don't know if I could summon enough mercy to save this piece of garbage.

Pirate Lawyer!

I just spent the last three hours looking up jobs on the coast. I don't say East Coast or West Coast, because I mean COAST. Aside from my driving urge to live it up as a rockin' attorney in Nevada, I also have the urge to live in a small coastal town.

Imagine how awesome it would be to live on the coast. Boating, Fishing, Hiking, Camping...all these things available to me whenever my heart desired it.

I looked up places in: WA, OR, and Maine. That's right, Maine. If I get a job in Maine, I'm going to change my blog to PirateLawyer.com or something schnazzy like that.

SLEEEEEEEEEP.

aLs

Computer Woes & The News

As I described in an earlier post, my laptop is permenantly out of commission. A few days ago, my PC joined my laptop and began experiencing unfixable problems related to its hard drive. I don't know when I will have that repaired, so my friends that are used to seeing me on IM or AIM, that's why I'm not around.

I got another interview! I now have two interviews with....Prosecutors! I know, it's horrible. The thing is, the PD's aren't getting the word out that they need/want interns. Perhaps they don't have the budget to pay for them...

Sex offender registries have inspired heated debates from all sorts of different points of view. I generally approve of them, but this sex offender registry law is going wayyyy too far! Can you imagine getting put on a sex offender registry with little to no due process? I can't either. I don't think this law would survive any kind of constitutional challenge. Sorry Ohio, try again next time.

These parents deserve to be locked into a dark room, tied, unable to move, in the heat, for several days. Not only did they torture a small defenseless child, but he died screaming. Then these stupid pricks claimed that the child had been kidnapped and enlisted the community in a massive search to find the child. While the community was mobilizing, the parents were burning the body multiple times and burying the dead child in an unmarked grave, in the middle of the woods.

How I feel about the death penalty is.....unsure. I generally feel that the system is broken and that we probably should just can the whole thing.

People like this....I won't lie to you....part of me wants them to suffer greatly before they die.

aLs