Sunday, Monday, Tuesday

There are only 3 days left before the final. I'm going to eat lunch and play Doom 3 for a while, then I'm going to get to work for the remainder of the day. Tomorrow I have class, we're talking about intentional torts. None of this will be on the exam. I'm going to go, but I haven't decided if I'm going to do the reading or not. I can't wait for this class to be over.

I went to church again this morning. I think church can be a hard place to go. There are so many happy people, they're all saying that God loves you. And for a while I feel it, believe it, but then I think to myslf, "but if God loves me then why.....". You can fill in the blank. Its really hard for me to get past that part...But I do want to believe, and more than anything I would like to be like those happy people. This week the sermon was about humility. Its hard to be humble in law school. On the inside you definitely feel humbled. On the outside you try to hide that, because most of us aren't used to feeling stupid. The final is coming, and I can't remember ever being this terrified of something. I'm afraid that its going to crush me completely. I know it probably won't, but my God, the amount of material I'm being expected to know is truly staggering.

So I've decided to try and be a little more humble for a week. Me thinks it won't be hard.


aLs

More Introductions

I found an amazing study hole. Can you guess where it was? Starbucks? Pizza Place? Library? My bathroom? Non. My secret study hole: Safeway. You got it. Let me tell you why. You will never bump into other law students in the deli sitting area at Safeway. Your phone is on Roam, so you won't answer it. You get all the refills you could want. If your hungry, the Deli is right freakin next to you. Safeway is the shiznit.

The exam is in 6 days. Some people (as always) are freaking out. Some people (as always) are partying. The people that are freaking out bug me. The people that are partying bug me even more. I skipped class today and slept in. It was worth it. Only 6 days until I get to start the next Harry Potter book. Woot!

I should describe my support network. You will see some of these people post, but I figured I would throw a quick bio up for each one of them.

Bats: I've known her since the dawn of time. Literally. She has been reincarnated over 7000 times! The last time I knew her she was my pet lobster. Oh how I miss those days. I would tell jokes, and she would click her beautiful claws in amusement. Bats is currently receiving a degree in Haiti, a Bachelor of Arts in the Vodoun. Last week she demonstrated her power to me when she cursed my bread box. Every morning when I wake up, my wheat bread has become sourdough bread. God how I hates sourdough. She has a Noam Chomski poster on her wall and wants to be Tank Girl when she grows up.

Lburger: I gave her this nickname myself. Lburger has a sarcastic sense of humor. Her humor isn't quite like mine exactly, but its somewhere on the same wave length. She has a degree in Nanotechnology from the University of Puerto Rico. Right now she works in DC at the largest observatory on Earth. Her hobbies include: frivolous lawsuits, giraffe beatings, and graffiti. Last year she saved the Earth from an asteroid by slowing our orbit....2005 will take 974 days to complete because of her.

Dnaut: The original Dnaut was killed in 1597 during the American Civil War. This sounds impossible, but not when Dnaut is involved. His mutilated body was found in the stomach of a fossilized wooly mammoth. Enough of his DNA was preserved to clone him.....Kind of. His brain was cloned, as was his left arm and right leg. The rest of Dnaut is cybernetics, thanks to the startling advances of none other than Lburger. Dnaut is a sentient being that only remembers brief moments of his life during the 1500's/1800's. Suffice it to say, when he remembers everything, nothing will ever be the same again. Dnaut's hobbies include: Killin Ninjas, Bein a pirate, American Idol, and Death of all Humans.

Former Roommate: He used to take my clothes out of the dryer and throw them on my bed. That really pissed me off. I like him, but some day he's going to get arsenic in his soup for that little transgression.

Pylon K: Pylon K runs her own third world country. When Pylon Lburger was run out for her dealings with Pylon Pike, there was a power vacuum. Pylon K murdered the entire congress of, well I can't remember the name of the country. She killed all of them (about 300) with a spork and a few sugar packets. Lesson learned: Do not mess with Pylon K. She is currently living on the bottom of the ocean in her secret lair, designing new sneakers. Her hobbies include: Destroying the Moon so we can have a beautiful ring around the Earth instead of the stupid moon, Destroying the sun (for different reasons), Bombing Mars, and finding a way to grow cats that either stay kittens forever, or die as soon as they grow past a certain point, whichever is easier.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. I have thousands of friends up north. These are the friends that I think read this blog though, so if I missed you, let me know (but don't freak out), and I'll make sure you get mentioned. Peace out people. Its doughnut time for aLs.

Leaps and Bounds

I have a pact of sorts with my friend lizasta. She helps culture me and I open her mind to new things. I'll give you some examples.

1. She pointed out that looking like shit is not impressive. Instead, I should try looking good.
2. I pointed out that Boondock Saints is one of the best movies ever made.
3. She pointed out that a toilet should never be brown.
4. I pointed out that Hellraiser V: Inferno is one of the best movies ever made.
5. She pointed out that I should say "bless you" when someone sneezes.
6. I disagree with that entirely. Why should I bless someone for spreading pestilence?
7. I constantly help Liz to realize that being a dork is a good thing.
8. Liz constantly helps me to realize that I should limit the dork thing where possible.

I should describe other people I am friends with.

Matterhorn: He's from the south. He goes out and parties every night, but he does all of his work during the day, so its cool I guess. He has a nickname for me that I am used to hearing. I don't hate it, but I don't love it. Matterhorn has a superior apartment, but the inside is all pink. He has a girlfriend in another state, I believe this is her way of marking her territory.

Eggs Benedict: He's a good guy. Knows more about sports than anyone I have ever met before. A little bit more relaxed than me I think. Smart. Cool.

The Painter: A cool headed democrat from the east coast. This guy has a good sense of humor and is sharp as a knife. I like him because he laughs at my jokes and has a good taste in movies. Anyone who laughs at my jokes gets ten bonus points.

The Sheriff: Named for her bowling abilities, you can often hear the guys saying "The Sheriff is Town!" when she returns from yet another strike. This girl will kick your ass at bowling. If you have any insecurities in your manlihood, I do not think you should bowl with her. Also, she tells good stories and is very convincing on the phone.

Red 6: If you know where I coined this name from, you win a million points. Red 6 is funny, from the West Coast, and hard to read. Sometimes I can't tell when she's joking and I think the shit is about to hit the fan. Red 6 is not one to be messed with.

A Bomb: A big fan of Elle Woods (google it), this girl would have others believe she is just a ditz. She is far from it. Able to focus like a hawk, she gets what she wants. I've had the opportunity to argue with her once or twice for fun, and I believe that A Bomb will be the shiznit someday.

H-Bomb: I know very little about HBomb. Suffice it to say that she has seen my home town. She is into sports and has great taste in HBO series. Hopefully I'll get to know her better in time.

Anchorage Girl: Shitty nickname I know, but she knows about this blog and I don't feel good about giving her a nickname right now. Other than me, Anchorage Girl has the best movie taste in the class by far. She's quick and has made friends with some cool people in class. She is also very intense, which is why I want to get to class before her and steal her seat. Just to see what happens. It is likely that I would get my arse kicked.

Note: All of these descriptions are meant in a positive way. In case someone in my class believes they have been identified on this blog and would like it removed, please notify me and I will do so post haste.

Anyways...I should elaborate more on the church thing. There were some extremely cute girls there. Furthermore the pastor wore jeans. It was relaxed and came off as relatively progressive. Hopefully it all goes well for me over there. Especially since the church is only a few minutes from where I live. I like the idea of walking to church.

Are there any lurkers on this page? Anyone that has been reading for a while but hasn't said Hi...or God forbid, someone I know who is being a fly on the wall?

I lost 3 pounds! The workouts are working! Soon I will weigh what I tell people I weigh! Then I can tell people I weigh ten pounds lighter than the truth again! Yay.

G'night people.
aLs

Avoiding Work

I shouldn't be writing this. The final is eight days from tomorrow. That's right, next Wednesday. I have over twenty pages of material to commit to memory with more coming in the next few days. I feel like the water is pouring into the ship faster than I can bail it out.

I got called on again today. I didn't even have my name plate up. My computer was having a meltdown, so I passed. I felt like a douche, because I book brief. My computer's problems are really quite inconsequential, but I was pissed off at the computer and not really prepared to jump right into a case at that point.

I did help out another student today. She's very smart, but she ended up with "deer in headlights" syndrome. She just couldn't answer one of his questions and started struggling. I tentatively put my hand up and started to bail her out.

"Mr. aLs"
"The difference here is that the mislabeled bottle of poison created imminent danger of loss of life..."
"That's true, but what did the court say exactly"
I start to answer, and Humpty Cobra's hand shot up. He has long scaly arms that glow in the dark, so the teacher turned his gaze to him and the guy started to answer. This little jerk has done this to me twice now. Except, this time I didn't pause. Here's the funny thing though, his answer was:
"The court said that poison is dangerous..."
No you stupid turd. The court said that the only reason for poison's existence is to harm. That's what it does. That's why it was treated differently.

Anyways. Maybe when I finish tonight, I will invoke the dark powers from the 5th circle. The 5th circle of hell has many minions capable of many dastardly things. The most prominent of their hellish tortures is their ability to make keys disappear for up to an hour at a time. I am also a big fan of their power to weaken or even disable cell phone signals. I don't think that Humpty Cobra Snake knows who he is dealing with. I hope he knows how to take on demons, because that's who's coming to dinner.

Alright, more of an update coming soon. Expect things to be sporadic for a few days while I get my sh*t together. Anonymous Lawyer just updated his page and had some very interesting things to say about the bar exam. I highly recommend you cruise over there and check it out.

aLs

6 Days Remain

Church went very well. I think I may have finally found one that I felt comfortable with. Anyone who has known me for a long time knows thet that's a pretty big statement coming from me. I'll keep going and see what I think.

There are only six days of class left. All of next week plus next monday. Then we have Tuesday off with the final on Wednesday. I am working my butt off to try and memorize all of this torty stuff that we've gone over so far...the scary thing is, I will be absorbing atleast 3 more chapters in the next few days...If not another 5. Ack!

Alright people, I've gotta roll.

aLs

Random Brain Stuff

I spent my time in class cycling between listening, and downloading movie trailers of some of the latest and greatest games. I know that none of you really care, but the Resident Evil 5 trailer is slightly available now. I recommend checking it out.

The teacher called on me again yesterday. I assumed that I was protected from being called on because he had just called on me a few days ago. However, I sat in the front row and was wearing a shirt that gave me +20 to intelligence rolls and +3 to charisma. I didn't have a brief prepared for the case, and I didn't have anything book briefed. I did do the reading thank God. It also sucked, because when he called on me I was involved in deleting unneeded icons from my desktop. I was not following along and really had no clue where we were. So it took me a second to find the case I was being asked to explain. I ended up doing a good job overall.

The professors eyes glowed red and his fangs became visible as I answered every question he asked. Since the professor was spawned by the dark forces from the 4^th circle, he must obey certain laws of the supernatural.. One of those laws is, he cannot attack unless you screw up or do something stupid.

An example, is the sphinx. The sphinx cannot kill you unless you try to pass by it,. Also, I think it will eat you if you answer its question incorrectly. Anyways, since I got all his questions I was allowed to live. Later on, he eviscerated an old lady when leaving, the conversation went something like this:

Old Lady: The computer lab is that way right?

Prof: WRONG!!!! (at this point, I cannot describe what I saw. Needless to say that I will never be able to look at a spatula the same way, ever again.)

Right now, the professor is talking about car dealers.

Random thoughts for today:

1. If virtual reality becomes the next big thing, will it screw up little kids that play doom in an ultra real environment? Or...will it finally make children entertaining?

2. I had oatmeal for the first time in my life today. Someone in my class asked if it was from a packet. It was. She says that's not real oatmeal. Are there really oatmeal snobs? I've heard of beer snobs, but oatmeal snobs?

3. There is a commercial on TV that is really pissing me off. The gist of the commercial is that the car company is giving customers the “employee discount”. Isn't this like giving the middle finger to their employees? It seems disrespectful to the employees to take one of their few benefits of working for the company, and then have commercials with people pretending to be employees say “I'm glad to say that you pay what I pay”. Like its finally fair now or something. When I worked at Blockbuster I got free movie rentals. 7 a week. If they had started handing out all of my benefits (of which there were few) to the general public, I would have quit. I did quit.

4. If we mix virtual reality (assuming I live to see it) with webcams, will I be able to sit down with friends in a virtual living room, even though we're all thousands of miles away from each other? What kind of bandwidth would that take?

5. The Island comes out today. I want to see this movie. I like the idea of cloning myself and then using the clone for body parts. I want the clone to be conscious too. That way we can engage in mortal combat. I want to do this because I've always wanted to fight myself. If the clone wins (he won't), then he gets his freedom, if I win, I get his spleen. It's really my spleen anyways. In fact, I'll tell him he will get his freedom, but if he wins, he just won't get anesthesia when I take his spleen. What does a spleen do?

6. Law school students lack imagination. Not a single one I know likes horror movies. Why is this?

We're talking about exploding pigs right now.

A minute ago, we were discussing the feasibility of rocket packs.

Can we test those on bovine?

The professor waves his hands around a lot when he gets excited. It strikes fear into my heart today, because I am in the front row. Usually, when a person/monster waves his/her arms around, it is a sign that they are ready to maul something. I'll wear my lucky bloody steak belt next time.

This weekend I am joining a local group of democrats. We are going to get together and scheme about all sorts of things. Mostly we want to destroy morality in the U.S.

I will also be trying out a new church. I'm not usually big on churches, but church people have to be my friends. That's the rule. Hopefully I can find a progressive church with lots of beautiful, single, progressive girls that don't scare me.

The Spork! Perhaps the most useful utensil a person could have if they found themselves in a post apocolyptic world and needed dinnerware.

If you don't go back for seconds, is it really a buffet?

CHINCHILLAS!

Tort Prof=1 Alaska=1, Evens Stevens

First off, the midterm grade came back and I did well. Not as well as I had hoped, but I did beat the spread. My grade was higher than the average grade. It's not enough to make me happy, but at least I'm not hanging myself yet.

So today we had a tutorial after class. This is the only time during the week that the professor really takes questions and answers them in a rather straight way. I won one for Alaska today. I asked him the following question

"In a case with multiple defendants, where the plaintiff is not negligent, and decides to settle with one of the defendants before the case goes to trial, but one reason the defendant is settling is because he fears punitive damages and those are part of his settlement..will all of the settlement still subtract from the overall judgment when the case goes to trial, or will the plaintiff be able to shelter part of the settlement and claim its punitive damages?"

The prof just stared at me for a second and said "well I am loathe to admit this, and its been a long time since I have, but I don't know. I'll see what I can find on that tonight." The whole class was totally quiet, this man is considered a God by many students, and the Alaskan just stumped him. Zing! It's only fair, he stumped me in front of the class (he's stumped everyone), and now I've stumped him. We are Even Steven as far as I'm concerned.

You may have noticed a few new links on the page. I have added a really cool site devoted to personal investing (I've always wanted to learn more about that) , I added a site called "underneath the robes", its like Tiger Beat, but for federal judges. I also added a link to another law student blog that gets ten times the traffic I get (I get 400-600 hits a week) she gets 200 comments a day. Nutty isn't it?

Tune in tomorrow, and I'll tell you how I jammed my head up my ass, and how someone took something I said wayyyyy too seriously.

aLs

The Fear

On Friday I experienced something that most law students fear. Some of them will tell you that they don't know fear, that they have never known fear, but trust me, they are lying. This is a thing that keeps people awake at nights, that sends people to the bathroom crying after class, and that has the dual ability to inflate your ego or crush it into a fine dust and then blow it into your face.

You guessed it. The prof called on me.

The reason I think law students fear being called on is this; nobody can know your grades unless you tell them or don't cover up your midterm (or make law review, then they have a pretty good idea). So one of the only ways to measure somebody's ability against your own, is to watch them when they get called on. If they do poorly it could be because they weren't prepared, or it could be because they don't understand the material. Maybe they don't belong here. Maybe they do. When you get called on, your aware that many of your future peers, bosses, or employees are watching you, deciding how good you are. It can be intense to say the least.

You see, everyday that you go to class and don't get called on, exponentially increases the chance that you will get called on next time. This is because it would hardly make sense for the professor to call on people he has already called on when there are people like me just sitting there, untested and still a little smug. So it was that day, that I attracted his ire.

Friday is a bad day for me as far as paying attention goes. I have a tutorial after class, so we're looking at at 3-4 hours of torts in one day. I don't care what you think about torts, that's a lot. Also, www.somethingawful.com publishes their weekly photoshop friday. Photoshop Friday is put together by the goons over at somethingawful and it is one of the funniest things you can find on the interweb. So there I am, visibly bored, hunched over my computer shaking, trying to prevent spasms, as I laugh my ass off at somethingawful.

At one point when he looked up at me I moved my computer a little bit and knocked my name plate off the desk. He watched as another student handed it to me and I replaced it on the table. I knew that he was going to call on me for sure, but I didn't really care. I went on with my goofy hijinks and continued to draw attention to myself and the innocent liz, who was caught in the cross fire. My friend Red 6 gets annoyed when I do this kind of thing, but I think her annoyance isn't real, I think she likes my hijinks. People are wound wayyyy too tight around here, they have got to relax a little bit.

“Mr. aLs, could you tell us about the case of Wolf v. Scott Wetzel Services?”

“Uhhh yeah, hold on one sec.” (At this point I'm hurridly closing somethingawful and bringing up my brief, to remind me what case we're talking about)

“Wolf hurt his back and his company paid workers comp to him for it. After a while he needed psychiatric treatment and began receiving it. With the backing of his therapist, Wolf claimed that his back injury was partially responsible for his need to receive counseling. His claim was denied and his comp claim was closed entirely. Wolf appealed and his case was reopened and he was compensated for his counseling. He then filed a lawsuit against what's his face Services claiming that their negligent denial of his claim caused him damages and blah blah blah blah blah”

The professor had expected to catch me off guard. It was no secret that I am one of the people in class that does not worship my profs like Greek Gods. He stared up at me and began firing off questions like he had an M16 and I was a Charlie in the jungle (charlie: term used in Vietnam, please see Apocolypse Now)

I did very well with all of his questions. Until I was asked one that the case didn't really cover.

“What kind of tort is not covered by this workers comp system that the legislature set up?” He spat out, foam rolling down his shirt. The students in the front row flinched. How could the Alaskan be so smart, but not be in the front row? Was this possible? Would the teacher resort to biting if he couldn't trip up aLs in the next minute or two?

Well I knew the answer to that one. However, that answer was taking a shower or something in my brain, and did not pick up its phone. I only had a second to think about it before a lone hand shot up in the classroom.

Let's digress for a moment and allow me to paint a picture of a specific person in my class.

This guy is in his thirties. Some of the people in class like him because he has kind of a humpty dumpty aura and seems relatively harmless. You know what else has a humpty dumpty aura? Acid Spitting Cobra's infected with Ebola have an aura like that. Be careful. This guy, he always has a question or a hypo for the teacher. It never ends. The teacher doesn't answer his questions or his hypos either, the teacher just goes off on half hour long tangents instead. The tangents are interesting, but all the note takers hate these tangents. They sit there and take notes on stuff that they will never be tested on. I feel for them a little, but not lots. Its their own fault if they have gotten this far and haven't figured out how to tell what's important and what's not.

Anyways, Humpty Dumpty the Acid Spitting Snake raised his hand before I even had half a second to think about the answer. The teacher called on Humpty, and Humpty informed the class that Intentional Torts do not fall under the workers comp system that was under discussion. Well that's great. If I had had another 2 seconds I would have known that. The answer was just out to lunch. Several of my friends think I am overreacting, but I don't.. Why couldn't he have relaxed for a second instead of trying to undercut me? Nobody else in this class raises their hand the second someone doesn't know something. They will help if someone starts struggling, but not the moment someone needs to think for a second. What he did was a jerk thing,...his day of reckoning will come.

After class everyone agreed I did well. Though they wouldn't say it, I could tell that many others now believed it would only be a matter of time before I was sitting on the Supreme Court. Even though I am a liberal, it was now a given that Bush would be calling me to make an appointment. The Democratic party would get behind it, and the Conservatives would go with it as well since I'm so freaking cool.

Anyways, i've been writing this while class was going on. The teacher is talking about selling babies, so I'm going to listen for a while. Ciao.

aLs

The Last Few Days

A few days ago I went to Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've had a krispy kreme doughnut right off the line. For all you people who haven't seen one of these things, they make the doughnuts right there in the store. When you walk in, they hand you one right off the line, mere seconds after it was created. Me and lizaster were pressed up against the glass saying things "its turning over!" and "ohmigosh the doughnuts are coming towards us!!!". OH MY LORD it is good. If I was going to kill myself, I would spend a whole day at Krispy Kreme eating doughnuts first. Just so I had an idea of what heaven would be like.

Friday was a stressful day. I feel like throughout the week, after the midterm, I had slowly wound myself up so far that I was ready to crack. One of my friends made a joke about me when I wasn't around, and it was just a joke, not meant in a bad way, but I was so freaked out that when I heard it I just lost it. I went to the tutorial, but I only stayed for a few minutes. The more I tried to clear my mind the more I flipped out. I had to leave early because I needed to cool off. After a few hours of shopping and a little bit of exercising I had successfully calmed down.

Last night, me and the lizaster went to a cool place called Anna's Supper House (not the real name). It was this neat jazzy restaurant tucked away on the third floor of a building downtown. A jazz quartet showed up to play music while me and liz got dinner. These guys were only highschoolers, but they were really really really good. They had the house rockin. It was all I could do to keep my hands from tapping out a beat on the table. I now know that if I have family come to town and I want to show them a good time, or for that manner, I manage to finally land a date with someone, this is the place to go.

Today I went down to a lake, which is about 2 hours from here. Once again, I took my good friend liztastic and we had a picnic. In the near future, I would like to get some other law students to come down with me and rent a boat.

There is news that the exams may not get handed back tomorrow. I hope that this is bullshit, because one reason I've been wound up so much is that I've been waiting for that exam. This is the first real sign of how well I have been doing. Its worth 3 or 4 times as much as the mini exam, but also, I really tried my best to do well on this exam. If I didn't do well, then I don't know what I can do to increase my grade after that. Hopefully it all comes out well, but there's just no way to know.

If he doesn't have those tests ready, I may have to resort to using the art of the Vodoun against him. I know that curses are generally risky, but I feel qualified enough to lob a few his way for making me wait. Where should I put the first pins?

aLs

Slacker

Last night I was stupid and stayed out too late. I didn't do my reading and I didn't do my briefs. I didn't go to sleep until 2 AM. As I passed out for the night I decided that I wouldn't go to class. I turned off my alarm clock and enjoyed a long sleep.

I got up around 11am this morning and putted around for a while. I drank a Diet Coke and went back to sleep. In hind sight I think I should have drank some water. I slept for another 4 hours and got up at 4pm. I think I slept that long because I was dehydrated.

Anyways, I screwed around for a while and got dinner with a friend. I also discovered that my car had been toilet papered by other law students...I don't know if its because I left the bar early or if it was because I didn't go to class, but this means war. My response will be much stronger than that. In the spirit of friendly pranks, I will bring down thunder and shake the world with my response. In other words, Mark's car is doomed (Mark is what I'm going to call him).

Right now I'm watching Larry King Live. Larry King rules. The story is about the downfall of Tammy Fay Baker and her husband. Jessica Hahn is a very interesting person. She is the person that Jim Baker date raped (she was 14). Later on she posed for playboy. I'm a little weirded out, because she keeps saying how awesome church is, but then she said "I'd love to pose nude for playboy again". Weird. She also called Jerry Falwell a snake in the grass. I agree with that atleast.

I joined Blockbuster's version of netflix. I would have gone with netflix, but flat out, blockbuster had better prices and a few free rentals every month at the store. I'm happy. Let's just say that 3 hellraiser movies and Season 5 of Sopranos is inbound!!! Weee! Who needs a girlfriend with a steady stream of quality horror movies?

4 days til' exam is returned and grade is known (blood pressure rising).

aLs

A new mood

I think that the way people are interacting here has changed a tad. The rumor mill is up and running in full force. I like being part of an active rumor mill. Its fun learning about people and knowing why person A hates person B.

Everyone is a poker player right now. I can't really get anyone to say how they think they did on the exam. They refuse to talk about it or reveal it. I have only been able to talk to one other person about the exam. He was like me, compare notes to try and figure out how he did. I still feel like this should be the weekend. As of writing this, I haven't done any of my briefing for tomorrow. I still haven't been called on, and I've used up almost all of my allowed absences (I haven't missed a single class, but if you don't put your name plate up, it counts as not being there).

Tomorrow I'm joining the gym. I need to lose some weight. That's part of my problem, I'm not in the greatest shape. I've lost lots of weight over the last year and a half, but I've still got some ways to go I think. I have to lose the weight if I wanna get the girls, that's the rule. Also, its not fair for me to freak out and claim that people are materialistic just because they don't want to date me. It doesn't make someone materialistic just because they aren't attracted to somebody who is overweight. I just need to lose 20 or 30 pounds and that will really help I think.

Alright, I'm going to do some work. G'night.

aLs

Retraction

Okay, I don't hate myself.

I don't think all the girls in my law school are materialistic.

My world is not crumbling.

Let me explain what that meltdown was. When something huge like a midterm comes sailing along I don't usually freak out. I relax. I don't lose sleep, in fact I sleep well. The stress bounces off me, flows around me, and fails to distract me in any meanfingful way.

However, it does not go away. It collects. When I finish whatever the stressful project was, I feel elation and a meantal high at first. Then I crash. All the stress that everyone had parceled out to them over the course of a week hits me in the time frame of several hours. Suddenly I hate everyone. Everything annoys me or insults me. I don't even like myself. Normally its best if I just go into a dark hole for a few hours or do something that requires little introspection until the bad mood leaves me. However, today I didn't, so it just made it worse.

So I'm sorry that I often claim that the sky is falling. I just thought I would make this post so that everyone realizes that I know the sky isn't falling...right now.

Have a good one people,
aLs

Warning, Melodrama

Have you ever hated yourself? That's how I feel right now. I know lots of you are going to say "but your such a great guy" and that's peachy, and I appreciate your sentiments, but I don't care. I am so tired of being the weird funny guy. Everyone likes to have me around, but nobody actually wants to date me. I don't even know what I'm really trying to say. I am frustrated because I thought that for sure I would have a girlfriend right now, but I am beginning to see that just because there are more fish in the sea, doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to catch one. The law school girls are just as materialistic as girls in college. I don't think that by virtue of getting here they are really any smarter than other people I've met. Maybe intellectually they are smart, but as far as evaluating who's a prick and who isn't, I don't give them much credit.

Gr... I need to find some non-law school friends. I like a lot of these people, but I feel like they just make me more high strung after being around them too much (this does not include liz, who is a good friend and doesn't drive me nuts, and I'm not saying I don't like some of the other people, I'm just saying that sometimes they stress me out).

I wasn't galactically stupid. I slammed that test. I know it. I did really well and I don't think that I missed anything huge or important. In fact, I hit a few topics that other law students didn't think to talk about on the exam. Afterwards a few people totally bit my head off for trying to talk about the exam. I know why. They went down in a ball of flames and now they're mad about it. I know what that's like, that was me two weeks ago. However, I didn't act like a prick about it.

Anyways...I did well today. I don't need to be a snake in the grass anymore...Now I'm the Shark In The Tank.

aLs

I might be Galactically Stupid

The midterm is tomorrow. I don't think I've really accepted that idea fully. Let's go over what I did to prepare:

1. I didn't really study at all this weekend
2. I took one practice test
3. I watched" a few good men" and feel very lawyerly

Vegas should take out odds on this. Seeya tomorrow.

aLs

Deep Thoughts, with Jack Handy

Deep Thoughts...With An Anonymous Law Student....


Remember the mountie? He was amazing. I saw this one where he only had thirty seconds to hack into a computer mainframe to defuse a bomb. I have no idea why a bomb was connected to a computer mainframe, or why a Canadian police officer was working with an angry new york detective. Anyways...He was able to hack into the evil badguy computer account by listening to the way he typed. The mounty said that we all type with a rhythm, and he was able to hear the keys that this guy typed, and then somehow figure out the password. Do you realize, that this means that each key on the keyboard makes a different sound? Nuts. I wish I was the mountie.

I've made friends here, but I know that I'm still lonely. Want to know how I know? I check 3 different email addresses, eight times a day, hoping against hope that I got an email. I joined one of those newfangled online dating things, but its not workin out too well. The website promised to match me with other people, based off my sparkling attractive personality. I feel bad, because it can't match me with anyone. I press the "match me with someone button" and after like ten minutes of searching it says "dude...I don't know man...I mean...seriously". I hate the world for a while after that, then I check my email again.

7 up disappeared for a while. They had the 7 up guy, and he was awesome. Then they replaced him because he wanted to do some mediocre movies. They replaced him with another black guy in a sweater. They thought "hey, this black guy was funny, he was wearing a sweater...maybe another black guy in a sweater would be funny". He wasn't. They became Sierra Mist. Now they are selling Diet 7 up with Splenda. I think Splenda is too good to be true. Its going to end up causing hungry chinchillas to shoot out of our chests or something. Truthfully, I'd drink it anyways.

Midget porn. For it, or against it? I'm for it. Its hard for those guys to get a job (and girls, this is a progressive blog damnit). If we took away jockeying, midget porn, mtv, and movie roles as leprechauns, they wouldn't be able to get any work.

Recently I have been playing the "ask people horrifying questions" games. My favorite one has been "Would you rather be blind for 6 months, or gain 100 pounds over night?". Every single guy I have asked this question says "Gain the weight, I could lose it in 6 months". Every single girl I have asked has said "Lose my sight". My favorite one was "Blind. I think it would be neat to have super senses." Uhuh. Yeah I'm sure. The crazy thing is, I have then made things worse by saying "what if you lost your sense of hearing as well?". Only one girl said that would matter. She had to think about it.

What a nutty world we live in. Here's one for all of you, and yes, I've asked lots of law school students this one.

Would you rather fail in everything your doing, become an alcoholic that eventually transitions into a heroin junky, and die of an OD within five years.....Or kill your best friend with a...rock or something?

Tell me what you think and why, and I'll tell you what everyone else has said.


aLs

The End Is Flippin Nigh...Please Pass the Taquitos

Today we were tried, and found WANTING!

Not really, I just wanted to say that. I think Dnaut can join me on this, I love saying that.

The tension in class today was palpable. It was so thick that I could almost taste it on my tongue. The most relaxed people.....were still relatively relaxed. I'm one of them, so I spent most of my time chatting online and rolling my eyes at other students. However, even the relaxed people were a little skittish today. I went to lunch with them today, they just didn't seem like they usually are.

I missed the important part of a tutorial after class. At first I was kind of annoyed at myself for being irresponsible, but I'm kind of happy I missed it. I made it to the end, and I have never seen people look so shell shocked. People were so freaked out by the tutorial that they were almost foaming at the mouth. My usual ability to charm people was almost completely useless. I told someone to chill out a bit and they rotated their head 360 degrees and spewed vomit across the room. I swear.

Later on I found myself trying to get into the library. A storm was rolling into the area and the school, nay, the town had a very ominous feeling to it. Me, rick, and cindy spent quite a few hours studying, but we could do no more. Yet there I was, at the library...why? Trying to get in so I could study more? Nope, I wanted to rent Legally Blonde, and I knew I could do that for free at the library. I ended up at Blockbuster, gibbering incoherently at the blockbuster guy (I used to be him) while my friend stood there in her pajama bottoms and wished she hadn't been dumb enough to follow me into public. Baaaadddd idea. She'll learn. Oh how she'll learn.

Tomorrow I will take a practice midterm. Let's analyze this concept for a minute. I don't HAVE to be in class tomorrow, but people will either think I'm Hot Shit if I don't show up, or that I'm screwed. Since I'm not obsessively taking notes in class, I will probably get placed in the latter category. Which, I don't really care. BUT THINK ABOUT THIS. People get so bent out of shape in law school, that we have to have a PRACTICE MIDTERM!!! Like..we don't know how to take a test?! Like we need a practice?

Truth is, we do. The way you do these tests is weird. As you may know, the last time I tried, I only got 2/3 of the way through it. Obviously, I could have done with even more practice. There will also be a practice final. Weee!

I came up with the coolest saying in the world today, to describe myself, and perhaps others in my school. I said "When I'm not a Snake in the grass, I'm a Shark in the Tank." It was in reference to the fact that even the nicest of us (me I decided) are opportunitsts. We will eat children to get ahead, if necessary (and if we have honey mustard).

Alright, I had better get ready for bed. I have to get up and go to class, even though I don't have class tomorrow. That way, I can take my midterm...even though I don't have a midterm tomorrow.

My brain hurts like there is shrapnel in it.

aLs

The Everchanging Situation

My whole game plan has been thrown out the window. The outline that I was using has turned out to be crappy. There are mistakes in it and it omits important details. Furthermore, the way it says certain things will cause me to lose points on the exam. Also, I read this giant chapter, only to find out that he has decided to only test on half of it!!! That means that I wasted a day and a half reading and briefing the stupid goddamned thing!!!

AHHHHH!

I've tried taking deep breaths to calm down. You know what a deep breath will get you??? FReaking air! That's it! It does nothing! You only need so much air! I have enough air!!!!

Okay.

Relax.

Let me tell you about my friend liztastic. I told her about the blog. How could I not, she's my favorite person I've met down here by far. Also, I kid you not, 1000 hits on this site in the last seven days. Isn't that crazy? Anyways, liz is a cool person. She's from oregon, on the same wavelength as me humor wise, and is also a democrat. Isn't that great! She was annoyed when she saw the site that I hadn't mentioned her yet. I'll give you a better description later, but for now, this will have to do. I'm not in a great mood right now, so I just can't think of anything really funny to say. I'll think of something though. For now, I'm going to go crawl into a dark hole and ruminate on what life would have been like if I had been born as an Oyster.

aLs

Holy Hell!

I'll put up a real post later. But I just wanted to say, in the last seven days i've gotten over 500 hits! Holy crap! The only thing that annoys me, is that these people are refusing to make comments! Let me know your out there people.

The New Deal

Okay, i'm bored. The people that I like the most left town. I spent four hours reading earlier today, but I can only keep that up for so long. Tomorrow I'm going to try and double that amount of time spent working. A lot of the other students are taking a break, but I need this time to get ahead.

I'm going to change the way I do briefs again. I still think that they are an overall waste of my time, but its not fun being called on in class and not knowing the answer. I'm going to read a chapter and mark whatever looks important. After I get done reading, i'll go back and make up some very basic and simple briefs.

Oka, i'm tired.
g'night
aLs

Pictures are up

The pictures from my drive are up. Click on the link below....links, which are on the right. Or, click on the link above.

The Game Plan

I screwed around today. Me and two friends drove up to a resort in a nearby town and wasted a few hours. I had a lot of fun, but I have to tell the truth, just hanging out with beautiful women is difficult if you know your not going to date them. It sure is fun watching other guys gawk and wonder what makes me so cool that I'm hanging out with them, but in the end....

I'm not saying I don't like having female friends. All I'm saying, is that it can be frustrating to have lots of them. Especially when you know for a fact that you'll never get to date any of them (because you make such a great friend) and then you watch them date pricks. Your left wondering, "why are women so stupid sometimes?". Who knows.

The midterm exam is coming up in a week and a few days. I am going to spend atleast 6 hours studying and getting ready for it tomorrow. Then I will head down to the mall and get some more clothing. If you ever decide to do law school, masters school, or whatever, I highly recommend to you that you get all the school shopping done before you get there. Even the most casually dressed people in law school are dressed nicely. For the most part, I wear khakis and a polo shirt everyday to school. I was riding my bike to school everyday, but it was getting my pants muddy, so I switched to walking.

I may end up spending Monday and Tuesday studying as well. If I could really apply myself and work for like 6-8 hours a day on Monday and Tuesday then I could really get ahead of everyone. I know that I should lay back and smell the flowers, but I don't have time for that. I have to do better on the midterm than I did on the mini. I got the average score on the mini, but I feel like I could have done much better. I need to do better to keep my merit scholarship. Also, it may come off as egotistical (because it is) but I feel like I am quicker than a lot of the other students. Most of them are insanely smart, but I sometimes get the feeling that I'm grasping these concepts easier than they are. If that's true, then I should be getting a better grade than them. I messed up the time management on my last exam, but on this next one I swear it won't be a problem. I will take practice tests until I'm as fast as freaking possible.

I have also decided that I will be cutting down on my social activity for the rest of this next week. I really need to apply myself right now. I like lots of my new friends a lot, but in the end they are my competition. It's either me or them, and I want it to be me. As horrible as it sounds, I hope people keep going out and having fun, because I want the advantage that will give me.

Its funny what this place can do to you.

Also, I'm going to try and post my pictures from my drive down here. These pictures may give me away, because I use them for my background on my computer. If you happen to be a student at law school x, and you figure out who I am, please tell me about it and please keep it to yourself.

Thanks

Well, not so friggin bad

The grade returned was a C ish. I think that's pretty groovy. I'm going to enjoy my long weekend. Maybe I'll think of something else to say.


aLs

ps. Have you seen this new show Stella on comedy central? Its insane! Edward Norton was on it!